Posts Tagged relationship

By Kelly Purden

Marriages are not made perfect. There are many situations when a couple has to face different sets of problems but to keep a relationship strong, and to avoid divorce, the couple has to understand a lot more about each other.

Every person has differences and as a couple, they need to understand this. Even with the differences, they should find an area where they can both agree on. This will keep a relationship stronger. However, as the person has different ideas and experiences compared to the other, trying to understand what the other has to say may be difficult. This is where a marriage counselor can be beneficial.

Since conflicts are not always easy to deal with, the marriage counselors can be the one to help you out. In a couple, it is easier if a third party can help them out in making the proper decisions. Since their differences may already be a big issue for them, an unbiased individual mediating for them can be the solution. Thus, marriage counselor s can help rebuild the relationship and also to make the couple understand each other’s differences and later on learn to be happier with their situation.

A deteriorating relationship should not be left as is. It would only continue to break down unless the couple understand and accept that there is a change that must be done. One way that a marriage counselor helps the couple is through properly facilitating the couple’s thoughts and arguments. Thus, they can easily solve one problem at a time without being too hard to handle. Also, as your counselor is already experienced with situations such as this, he or she will be able to give you their insights on the situation and help you out with what you should do.

Since there is someone mediating the case of the couple, both of them can now think more clearly. The marriage counseling sessions may last for a long time up to the time that the couple can now sort their problems even without the help of the counselor. But before this can happen, a couple should first begin searching for the right counselor for them. Aside from the factor that the couple should feel comfortable with their choice as they will be communicating with them for a long time, there are even more considerations that must be done to make sure that everything has the goal of making the relationship better.

If you are already seeking the help of a marriage counselor, you should ensure that the one that you get is registered and legal practitioner. This will protect you from other therapists that do not actually have the right experience and knowledge in situations that you have. If you do not hire the right counselor, there can be a chance where this process can make the situation of the couple even worse. Thus, you should invest enough time in searching for the counselor that can help you out with your problem. Also, you will need to make sure that what you have is really helpful and not detrimental to your family.

About the Author: Worried about the possibility of a marriage counselor? Stop thinking that way! Award winning free course on how to stop divorce and save your marriage is available for a limited time at http://www.SaveYourMarriageQuick.com

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Continue reading here: Marriage Counselor – Learn How They Can Help to Save Your Marriage Today!

By Michelle Vasquez

Everyone wants a happier marriage yet few people know what to do to achieve it. So many times people look to their spouse to “complete” them instead of looking inside themselves to figure out how they can help their relationship thrive. Here are some ideas to get you started on the road to a happier marriage.

1. Overlook your spouse’s faults like you overlook your own. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit you have faults, just as everyone does. If you’re really honest with yourself, you will admit that you often overlook or dismiss your bad habits, while criticizing your spouse’s bad habits. Decide today to go easy on your spouse. Let go of the need to correct his faults and you may find him less critical of yours.

2. Decide what kind of day you want to have, and then create it. Yes, you can do this. A rainy day doesn’t make you have a “bad day.” You decide how to deal with things that are out of your control, like the weather, other people’s driving, your boss’s micromanaging, etc. You can choose misery or you can choose peace of mind.

It begins with what you tell yourself. For example: if it’s raining in the morning you can fret and tell yourself, “This is going to be a terrible day. I’ll get wet, people will drive like maniacs, and I’ll be late for work. This day is ruined.” Guess what? You’re right. Try this instead: “I am grateful for the rain. I’ll leave early for work and I’ll drive carefully. I can put on my favorite music and I’ll choose calm. This is a great day.” Your spouse will thank you when you decide what kind of day to have and her “bad mood” won’t bother you!

3. A kiss on the cheek at an unexpected time can create goodwill. If you have a habit of greeting your spouse with a friendly, “Where were you? Why didn’t you call? You said you were going to be here by 6:00,” take a deep breath and hold that thought. Try this instead: “I’m so glad to see you. How was your day?” then kiss him on the cheek and enjoy the rest of your evening together. Maybe your spouse will think you’ve gone crazy, but it will definitely be a change from the usual evening sparring match.

4. Always greet your spouse with a smile. Remember why you married her and let that warm feeling create your smile. Smiles are contagious; you’re likely to get one back when you practice this. When he calls you, answer the phone with a smile. You will feel differently when you smile and your spouse can hear your smile in your voice.

5. Add to this a bonus. Smiles and hugs go together like salt and pepper. We need human contact with the one we chose to marry. Hugs can melt away resentment and generate compassion. Virginia Satir, one of the key figures in the development of family therapy, declared that we need twelve hugs a day to maintain our mental health. How many hugs are you giving each other each day?

6. Always be the first to say, “I’m sorry,” even if you believe you were right (especially if you believe you are right). When you believe you are right and you’re willing to create distance between you and your spouse to hold onto your “rightness” you damage your relationship. Ask yourself if you want to win the argument or win the relationship. You can’t do both.

7. Make a daily habit of remembering what made you fall in love with him. If you only focus on your partner’s faults, you will quickly “fall out” of love. You can decide to focus on what you like and appreciate your spouse. This is not something to keep to yourself. Appreciate her and tell her. Daily. Appreciation has a wonderful benefit of coming back to you. People will do more for you when they realize you truly appreciate them and what they do.

8. Make blame an obsolete concept. It has no place in your marriage. Blame is so dangerous to the health of your marriage. Blame says you are a victim and your happiness is totally dependent on your spouse doing everything just the way you want it. Choose to take responsibility for what you can control: your own behavior. Before a blaming statement leaves your mouth, ask yourself what you can do to help your marriage.

9. Total honesty is not helpful. Discretion is better. Focusing on the good things you can say to each other is best. I think some people use the phrase “I’m just being honest” to say some pretty ugly things to each other. Sometimes people say they’re being honest, but they are really only expressing their opinion. Before you decide to say that “honest” thing to your spouse, think about how it will impact your relationship. Can you phrase it differently? Does it need to be said? Is it just your opinion? Think about it.

10. Ask yourself, “What can I do today that will bring me closer to the one I married?” Then do it. Keep it simple, using the examples above or creating your own. You have a creative mind and you can make this a daily habit. You will reap the benefits of a closer, happier marriage. Keep up these habits, building on them, and you can create the marriage of your dreams.

About the Author: Michelle E. Vasquez is a Relationship Coach and a Licensed Professional Counselor in San Antonio, TX. For more tips and tools to help you create relationships that bring you joy, visit http://www.michellevasquez.com and sign up for the free newsletter, Relationship Success, while you’re there.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=159869&ca=Marriage

See the original post: Happier Marriage: Ten Tips For Creating The Marriage Of Your Dreams

By Sarah Williams

With many marriages that end up with divorce, there is a great need for troubled couples to undergo marriage counselling even prior to the plan of holding the wedding.

Study shows that in some way, the counselling experience takes a vital part in the relationship of the couples as well as in raising their own family.

Counseling services is rendered to people who want to seek for advices about the major concerns and even problems that they will probably encounter in the duration of their marriage.

There are times that actual counselling is better than just reading counselling books because you can get to talk with the counsellors personally. They can also provide you with practical pointers on handling situations with your partner.

Sad to say, majority of the couples wait for quite long time before they undergo basic marriage counselling. Most of them seek for the help of the counsellors only if they are on the actual problem already. Supposedly, marriage counseling should be done before the marriage.

Counseling can save marriages and provide the couples enough space to explore themselves and the possible conflicts that they will encounter. It can also end up in arriving at a new understanding that will lead to a harmonious relationship.

Rearing of children has also become a part of marriage counselling. Since the very essence of getting married is to propagate. Thus, all the factors that deal on the family is already included in marriage counselling.

In finding for the best marriage and family counsellors, you can follow the following pointers.

? Establish the issues within yourselves first why you are seeking for the help of the marriage counsellors.

This is very important for you to communicate with your therapist or counsellor properly. It is not good that when you are in front of them, that is the only time that you think of the things that you are about to consult the counsellor.

As much as possible, the counselor should be familiar about the issue you are about to raise beforehand.

? Choose a marriage counsellor whom you are most comfortable to work with, whether a male or a female counsellor.

This will help you to narrate and share everything that you need to say with your guidance counsellor.

? Find for counsellors that have academic degree.

The credentials that they possess differ. This will also aid you in determining the credibility of your marriage counsellor.

Usually, those with the highest degree are also the most dependable ones because they already pass through several learning about their course.

? Referral from your relatives and friends can also help.

In fact, they are the most probable resources that you can ask regarding the best marriage and family counsellors because more or less, they have experience working with them.

? You can research in the web.

Some counselors post information about themselves. You can do the research about them and make an evaluation whether they pass your own set of criteria.

Make the relationship of your future family a harmonious one. This will not only deal about you or your partner but also the rearing of your child. With counselling, you can make a right choice!

About the Author: You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit NOW for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

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Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=58882&ca=Marriage

Read the rest here: Harmonious Relationship With Marriage And Family Counselling – You Can Do It!