Posts Tagged marriage

By Kelly Purden

There is no need to ask whether pre marriage counseling is for you or not. The answer is always YES. Pre marriage counseling is a psychological counseling given to couples before marriage. It is given to prepare them for and make them aware of possible marital issues that they may encounter in their marriage. This is quite important, as marriage experts say that pre marriage counseling helps reduce the possibility of divorce of up to thirty percent.

Counseling is usually given by a religious adviser and can range from two meetings to four meetings. The couple can choose what the content of the counseling will have as well as the amount of service to be given. It is also possible that the counseling be religion-neutral. No matter what the couple chooses, the counseling should include activities that allow them to adapt real skills, and give them real expectations and education about themselves and their partners so they can face the obstacles that they may encounter in their commitment as a married couple.

When looking for a good pre marriage counselor, it is important to research well on each prospect to get the best results. Make sure that the pre marriage counseling deals with your compatibility as a couple, your expectations, proper communication skills, your long-term goals, how to resolve conflicts, families, and intimacy and sexuality. It is also important to ask whether the counseling will handle a big or small group. Usually, a small group setting can be more engaging and more focused, but on the other hand, being part of a big group may yield advantages as well such as being more systematic and comprehensive. If working with a group, ask whether the approach is flexible enough to accommodate all the couples involved. Some skills are best developed on a one-couple counseling session.

Answering these questions will help you to resolve much better what kind of pre marriage counseling to consider as well as what pre marriage counselor to go to. Pre marriage counseling is very important to strengthen a couple’s relationship and constructively prepare both individuals, especially while they still have plenty of positive energy in their relationship. Couples nowadays face more pressure and maybe less support than before, which is why this counseling can be a big help. It is important to build a strong foundation before committing into this life-changing event. Without this strong foundation, it becomes easier to be overwhelmed by the pressure or the stress that may occur.

Living together is not enough to prove that you are ready for marriage. Do not be afraid of the issues that may be raised when you get into counseling. This will not make you love each other less, but instead help you both to work out these issues early on in the relationship with the help of an expert so to help you avoid encountering this kind of conflict when you are already a married couple.

About the Author: Want to eliminate your pre marriage counseling? Don’t worry – you can save and strengthen it now! Get free award winning advice on how to save your marriage at http://www.SaveYourMarriageQuick.com

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Follow this link: Pre Marriage Counseling – The Answer to a Long and Healthy Marriage!

By Michelle Vasquez

Everyone wants a happier marriage yet few people know what to do to achieve it. So many times people look to their spouse to “complete” them instead of looking inside themselves to figure out how they can help their relationship thrive. Here are some ideas to get you started on the road to a happier marriage.

1. Overlook your spouse’s faults like you overlook your own. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit you have faults, just as everyone does. If you’re really honest with yourself, you will admit that you often overlook or dismiss your bad habits, while criticizing your spouse’s bad habits. Decide today to go easy on your spouse. Let go of the need to correct his faults and you may find him less critical of yours.

2. Decide what kind of day you want to have, and then create it. Yes, you can do this. A rainy day doesn’t make you have a “bad day.” You decide how to deal with things that are out of your control, like the weather, other people’s driving, your boss’s micromanaging, etc. You can choose misery or you can choose peace of mind.

It begins with what you tell yourself. For example: if it’s raining in the morning you can fret and tell yourself, “This is going to be a terrible day. I’ll get wet, people will drive like maniacs, and I’ll be late for work. This day is ruined.” Guess what? You’re right. Try this instead: “I am grateful for the rain. I’ll leave early for work and I’ll drive carefully. I can put on my favorite music and I’ll choose calm. This is a great day.” Your spouse will thank you when you decide what kind of day to have and her “bad mood” won’t bother you!

3. A kiss on the cheek at an unexpected time can create goodwill. If you have a habit of greeting your spouse with a friendly, “Where were you? Why didn’t you call? You said you were going to be here by 6:00,” take a deep breath and hold that thought. Try this instead: “I’m so glad to see you. How was your day?” then kiss him on the cheek and enjoy the rest of your evening together. Maybe your spouse will think you’ve gone crazy, but it will definitely be a change from the usual evening sparring match.

4. Always greet your spouse with a smile. Remember why you married her and let that warm feeling create your smile. Smiles are contagious; you’re likely to get one back when you practice this. When he calls you, answer the phone with a smile. You will feel differently when you smile and your spouse can hear your smile in your voice.

5. Add to this a bonus. Smiles and hugs go together like salt and pepper. We need human contact with the one we chose to marry. Hugs can melt away resentment and generate compassion. Virginia Satir, one of the key figures in the development of family therapy, declared that we need twelve hugs a day to maintain our mental health. How many hugs are you giving each other each day?

6. Always be the first to say, “I’m sorry,” even if you believe you were right (especially if you believe you are right). When you believe you are right and you’re willing to create distance between you and your spouse to hold onto your “rightness” you damage your relationship. Ask yourself if you want to win the argument or win the relationship. You can’t do both.

7. Make a daily habit of remembering what made you fall in love with him. If you only focus on your partner’s faults, you will quickly “fall out” of love. You can decide to focus on what you like and appreciate your spouse. This is not something to keep to yourself. Appreciate her and tell her. Daily. Appreciation has a wonderful benefit of coming back to you. People will do more for you when they realize you truly appreciate them and what they do.

8. Make blame an obsolete concept. It has no place in your marriage. Blame is so dangerous to the health of your marriage. Blame says you are a victim and your happiness is totally dependent on your spouse doing everything just the way you want it. Choose to take responsibility for what you can control: your own behavior. Before a blaming statement leaves your mouth, ask yourself what you can do to help your marriage.

9. Total honesty is not helpful. Discretion is better. Focusing on the good things you can say to each other is best. I think some people use the phrase “I’m just being honest” to say some pretty ugly things to each other. Sometimes people say they’re being honest, but they are really only expressing their opinion. Before you decide to say that “honest” thing to your spouse, think about how it will impact your relationship. Can you phrase it differently? Does it need to be said? Is it just your opinion? Think about it.

10. Ask yourself, “What can I do today that will bring me closer to the one I married?” Then do it. Keep it simple, using the examples above or creating your own. You have a creative mind and you can make this a daily habit. You will reap the benefits of a closer, happier marriage. Keep up these habits, building on them, and you can create the marriage of your dreams.

About the Author: Michelle E. Vasquez is a Relationship Coach and a Licensed Professional Counselor in San Antonio, TX. For more tips and tools to help you create relationships that bring you joy, visit http://www.michellevasquez.com and sign up for the free newsletter, Relationship Success, while you’re there.

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See the original post: Happier Marriage: Ten Tips For Creating The Marriage Of Your Dreams

By Steve Gee

Do this one magical thing and there will be plenty of hope for saving your marriage

Has your spouse just told you that your marriage is over? Are you doing what most people do when this happens? If you are then stop right now and read the rest of this article. It could be the difference between splitting up and making up.

What you must not do if you hope to save your marriage and stop your divorce

Most people have a knee-jerk reaction to their spouse telling you that you’re finished as a couple. You tell them how much you love them and can’t live without them. You tell them that you would do anything to get them back. You will change your habits, buy gifts, spend less time at the office blah blah blah… Do you think that all this pleading is going to make any difference? Well it is – it’s going to make things a lot worse and push your partner even further away from you.

You have to fight to save your marriage but you need the right weapons

Whatever you do, stop pleading with your spouse right now. It isn’t going to help and you need to learn a different way of approaching your problem.

Getting your wife back isn’t going to be easy but it can be done and if you go in armed with the right weapons and the proper training in how to use them then you will be surprised just how effective they can be. There is hope to save a marriage in most cases – it’s just a matter of doing the right things in the right way.

This is the first thing you must do to get your Ex back

The first thing that you must do to save your marriage is accept that it’s over. I know that this doesn’t sound right but you’re not going to get anywhere until you realize that it’s what your partner wants right now and you need to give it to them. Think about getting your ex back as the start of a wonderful new relationship together not the end of one that’s failing.

Have a calm and rational discussion with your partner and tell mim or her that they are so right and that you have been thinking along the same lines for a long time. If you’ve already done the pleading bit and some time has passed then write them a letter to tell them that you now accept the situation and that you think it’s the right thing to do.

I know that this is the exact opposite of what your heart is telling you to do but this technique has far greater chance of working than pleading with your spouse hoping that they will change their mind. Let’s face it, pleading almost never works so what have you got to lose?

Now there is hope to save your marriage

Once you’ve accepted the situation and you both start to think about the rest of your life the pressure of the separation melts away and you’re free to start making up. Be careful not to undo the good work you’ve done so far though. You now have to go under the radar to start getting your ex to love you again without realizing what’s happening. If you go about it the right way – there is hope to save your marriage in abundance.

About the Author: Discover under-the-radar techniques that will make your ex love you again without even realizing what you’re doing – Find out how you can save a doomed marriage http://www.howdo-i.com/save-my-marriage/

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Read the original: Is There Hope to Save a Marriage? Here Lies the Secret to Turning Your Marriage Around

By Sarah Williams

With many marriages that end up with divorce, there is a great need for troubled couples to undergo marriage counselling even prior to the plan of holding the wedding.

Study shows that in some way, the counselling experience takes a vital part in the relationship of the couples as well as in raising their own family.

Counseling services is rendered to people who want to seek for advices about the major concerns and even problems that they will probably encounter in the duration of their marriage.

There are times that actual counselling is better than just reading counselling books because you can get to talk with the counsellors personally. They can also provide you with practical pointers on handling situations with your partner.

Sad to say, majority of the couples wait for quite long time before they undergo basic marriage counselling. Most of them seek for the help of the counsellors only if they are on the actual problem already. Supposedly, marriage counseling should be done before the marriage.

Counseling can save marriages and provide the couples enough space to explore themselves and the possible conflicts that they will encounter. It can also end up in arriving at a new understanding that will lead to a harmonious relationship.

Rearing of children has also become a part of marriage counselling. Since the very essence of getting married is to propagate. Thus, all the factors that deal on the family is already included in marriage counselling.

In finding for the best marriage and family counsellors, you can follow the following pointers.

? Establish the issues within yourselves first why you are seeking for the help of the marriage counsellors.

This is very important for you to communicate with your therapist or counsellor properly. It is not good that when you are in front of them, that is the only time that you think of the things that you are about to consult the counsellor.

As much as possible, the counselor should be familiar about the issue you are about to raise beforehand.

? Choose a marriage counsellor whom you are most comfortable to work with, whether a male or a female counsellor.

This will help you to narrate and share everything that you need to say with your guidance counsellor.

? Find for counsellors that have academic degree.

The credentials that they possess differ. This will also aid you in determining the credibility of your marriage counsellor.

Usually, those with the highest degree are also the most dependable ones because they already pass through several learning about their course.

? Referral from your relatives and friends can also help.

In fact, they are the most probable resources that you can ask regarding the best marriage and family counsellors because more or less, they have experience working with them.

? You can research in the web.

Some counselors post information about themselves. You can do the research about them and make an evaluation whether they pass your own set of criteria.

Make the relationship of your future family a harmonious one. This will not only deal about you or your partner but also the rearing of your child. With counselling, you can make a right choice!

About the Author: You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit NOW for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

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Read the rest here: Harmonious Relationship With Marriage And Family Counselling – You Can Do It!