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By Steve Gee

Do this one magical thing and there will be plenty of hope for saving your marriage

Has your spouse just told you that your marriage is over? Are you doing what most people do when this happens? If you are then stop right now and read the rest of this article. It could be the difference between splitting up and making up.

What you must not do if you hope to save your marriage and stop your divorce

Most people have a knee-jerk reaction to their spouse telling you that you’re finished as a couple. You tell them how much you love them and can’t live without them. You tell them that you would do anything to get them back. You will change your habits, buy gifts, spend less time at the office blah blah blah… Do you think that all this pleading is going to make any difference? Well it is – it’s going to make things a lot worse and push your partner even further away from you.

You have to fight to save your marriage but you need the right weapons

Whatever you do, stop pleading with your spouse right now. It isn’t going to help and you need to learn a different way of approaching your problem.

Getting your wife back isn’t going to be easy but it can be done and if you go in armed with the right weapons and the proper training in how to use them then you will be surprised just how effective they can be. There is hope to save a marriage in most cases – it’s just a matter of doing the right things in the right way.

This is the first thing you must do to get your Ex back

The first thing that you must do to save your marriage is accept that it’s over. I know that this doesn’t sound right but you’re not going to get anywhere until you realize that it’s what your partner wants right now and you need to give it to them. Think about getting your ex back as the start of a wonderful new relationship together not the end of one that’s failing.

Have a calm and rational discussion with your partner and tell mim or her that they are so right and that you have been thinking along the same lines for a long time. If you’ve already done the pleading bit and some time has passed then write them a letter to tell them that you now accept the situation and that you think it’s the right thing to do.

I know that this is the exact opposite of what your heart is telling you to do but this technique has far greater chance of working than pleading with your spouse hoping that they will change their mind. Let’s face it, pleading almost never works so what have you got to lose?

Now there is hope to save your marriage

Once you’ve accepted the situation and you both start to think about the rest of your life the pressure of the separation melts away and you’re free to start making up. Be careful not to undo the good work you’ve done so far though. You now have to go under the radar to start getting your ex to love you again without realizing what’s happening. If you go about it the right way – there is hope to save your marriage in abundance.

About the Author: Discover under-the-radar techniques that will make your ex love you again without even realizing what you’re doing – Find out how you can save a doomed marriage http://www.howdo-i.com/save-my-marriage/

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=300683&ca=Marriage

Read the original: Is There Hope to Save a Marriage? Here Lies the Secret to Turning Your Marriage Around

By Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D.

A marriage vow is supposed to be an inviolate thing, a binding commitment between two people to spend the rest of their lives together. This includes through better or worse, richer or poorer and in sickness or good health; we all know the drill. Every married couple repeats the vows or variations on them and, at the time, the vast majority of these people mean what they recite and fully intend to honor those vows. The unwritten assumption is that there are always ups and downs in any marriage, but on the whole, the relationship is assumed to be strong enough to survive these bumps and should in fact become stronger for them.

Yet, it’s a fact of life that nearly half of all American marriages end in divorce. In Canada, it’s over a third of all marriages. In some European countries, divorce rates actually exceed fifty percent! For a society that generally considers marriage the pinnacle of adult relationships and the foundation for a family, these aren’t statistics to be proud of.

Traditional Marriage Counseling has not been particularly successful for many people and that shortcoming is reflected in the dismal marriage failure statistics. It’s not necessarily a lack of commitment on the part of the spouses who are trying to work their way through a difficult time; in fact, traditional marriage counseling can become a multi-year exercise that requires a significant investment in time, money and emotion. People are enduring this in the hope of piecing their marriages back together. Still, that extraordinarily high divorce rate remains.

Many marriage counselors end up creating a dependency, where couples are afraid to make any move without first consulting their therapist. Spouses tend to be of different temperaments and therapy sessions can be overwhelming for one of the partners, creating or amplifying an existing emotional imbalance in the relationship. Sessions tend to focus on the problems, the negatives in the relationship, and that frequently means singling out one partner for their transgressions. There can be a great deal of emotional energy created in a traditional therapy session, but all too often it’s negative energy: resentment or anger. How can that negativity help the couple struggling to save their marriage?

If you are in a troubled marriage, instead of automatically turning to the phone book and stepping onto the therapy treadmill, perhaps you should Save Marriage Counseling as a last resort; at least traditional marriage counseling.

What is it that makes a married man or woman take the risk of engaging in an extramarital affair? While many people assume it’s simply boredom, money or outright sexual attraction, often the root cause can be traced back to the fact that everyone likes to feel special. Consciously or subconsciously, people get married in the first place in large part because they feel special when they’re with their partner. When that partner no longer makes them feel special, they begin to seek a bond with others in an attempt to recapture that “special” feeling.

There are Online Marriage Counseling services available that avoid the pitfalls of traditional marriage counseling. Instead of sitting in an office, re-opening old wounds as you are prompted to go though the litany of ways you and your spouse have hurt each other, the alternative is to listen to an expert as they walk through real-life examples and focus on the positive experiences of marriage. It’s all done in the privacy of your own home (or car, or wherever you choose to listen to the CDs), on your timetable and benefits can be realized even if only one of the spouses chooses to take part. Instead of digging through the relationship’s dirt, the emphasis is on learning how to fulfill each other’s needs so that each partner once again feels special. This is a positive approach that can give a marriage a much-needed fresh start. The approach has been proven successful and leading practitioners have been featured in the media, including appearances on Oprah, The View and The Today Show, not to mention leading publications including USA Today, The New York Times and Cosmopolitan.

In the end the choice is up to you: months or years of ongoing, intensive and emotionally-charged therapy, or a short, positive re-enforcement of why you chose to get married in the first place.

About the Author: This article was written by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D. for LightYourFire.com, who has shown thousands of couples that you don’t need marriage counseling to bring back the feelings you had when you first fell in love. Article reproductions must include a link pointing to http://www.lightyourfire.com/

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=262089&ca=Marriage

Go here to see the original: Online Marriage Counseling: A Positive Step Toward Saving Your Marriage