Funny Marriage Advice to Make Your Marriage Stronger

14 June 2010

By Robbie T. James

Marriage is serious business. After all, for most people the person we marry is someone with whom we share our home, money, and love – and even our kids! And, marriage is forever – or at least that is how most people intend it to be when they get married. Most married people spend a significant amount of their personal time in close proximity to their spouses.

In order to take a lighter view on the serious business of marriage, I have collected some of my favorite funny bits of folk wisdom and advice on the subject of how to keep your marriage healthy, healthy, and strong. So, here is some funny marriage advice to make your marriage stronger:

1. Don’t date anyone you wouldn’t marry:

This one is really more of a comment on how to conduct oneself before marriage. For most people, dating is as much a way to have fun as it is to find a life mate. After all, dating often includes going out on the town, having some good food, maybe a bit of dancing – doing things that are outside of the ordinary, hum-drum of pattern daily life. But, this piece of advice implies something important about dating: it can lead to something much more serious. If you go out on date after date with someone about whom you are not necessarily crazy (but are just doing it to have a bit of fun), the strategy could backfire on you. Things might get serious before realize it, and you could end up compromising and marry the wrong person.

2. Don’t fight about money – there is never enough to go around anyway:

As most married couples will tell you, money is one of the biggest sources of conflict within a marriage. Money – and how we handle it – is so personal and no two people view it in exactly the same way. Combine that with the fact that most married couples share their money; that is, they add to and take from the same “pot” on a regular, ongoing basis. And, for most people, there just never seems to be enough money to do all of the things we want to do. The solution? Realize that there will probably always be a bone to pick between you regarding how each of you handles money – but that is no reason to fight. Just agree to disagree on the small stuff and move on.

3. If you are a woman: do not expect your husband to change after marriage:

Women, be honest with yourselves: if you are like most women, when you married your husband you had all sorts of specific expectations about ways he would become an even better or more pleasing person post-marriage. This is just a huge fantasy, so you need to let this notion go! Of course, married men do change over time. But, such change is not always necessarily for the better, and it is very unlikely that the things a woman dislikes most about her husband are going to magically go away. The best advice for women is to not expect your man to change and to try to accept him for who he is.

4. If you are a man: do not expect your wife not to change after marriage:

Calling all men: when you married that perfect little bride of yours, you formed a mental picture in your mind of what she was (or what you imagine her to be). As time passes, you may have noticed that the gap between the person your wife is today and that mental image of how she “used to” be is getting larger and larger. Fact is, most men start reminiscing about the way things were (or they way they thought things were) with their wives before they got married, lamenting the ways she has changed since then. Here is a little piece of advice: embrace the changes she has gone through and enjoy the ride!

5. Never have breakfast together:

This last one really hits home with me. Neither my wife or I are morning people. When we get up each morning, we need to give each other as wide a berth as possible, lest we risk getting our heads removed by the grumpy monster in the room. That means staying out of each other’s way for at least the first half hour in the morning. And, of course, having breakfast together immediately after getting up in the morning is completely out of the question!

Making a marriage successful requires a lot of hard work and patience. At the same time, keeping a good sense of humor about your marriage can actually be very good medicine.

About the Author: Has the flame of passion in your marriage died? Get some insider advice that has helped thousands of other married couples rekindle their love and passion at: www.in-your-arms-again.com

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Marriage Counselor – Learn How They Can Help to Save Your Marriage Today!

14 June 2010

By Kelly Purden

Marriages are not made perfect. There are many situations when a couple has to face different sets of problems but to keep a relationship strong, and to avoid divorce, the couple has to understand a lot more about each other.

Every person has differences and as a couple, they need to understand this. Even with the differences, they should find an area where they can both agree on. This will keep a relationship stronger. However, as the person has different ideas and experiences compared to the other, trying to understand what the other has to say may be difficult. This is where a marriage counselor can be beneficial.

Since conflicts are not always easy to deal with, the marriage counselors can be the one to help you out. In a couple, it is easier if a third party can help them out in making the proper decisions. Since their differences may already be a big issue for them, an unbiased individual mediating for them can be the solution. Thus, marriage counselor s can help rebuild the relationship and also to make the couple understand each other’s differences and later on learn to be happier with their situation.

A deteriorating relationship should not be left as is. It would only continue to break down unless the couple understand and accept that there is a change that must be done. One way that a marriage counselor helps the couple is through properly facilitating the couple’s thoughts and arguments. Thus, they can easily solve one problem at a time without being too hard to handle. Also, as your counselor is already experienced with situations such as this, he or she will be able to give you their insights on the situation and help you out with what you should do.

Since there is someone mediating the case of the couple, both of them can now think more clearly. The marriage counseling sessions may last for a long time up to the time that the couple can now sort their problems even without the help of the counselor. But before this can happen, a couple should first begin searching for the right counselor for them. Aside from the factor that the couple should feel comfortable with their choice as they will be communicating with them for a long time, there are even more considerations that must be done to make sure that everything has the goal of making the relationship better.

If you are already seeking the help of a marriage counselor, you should ensure that the one that you get is registered and legal practitioner. This will protect you from other therapists that do not actually have the right experience and knowledge in situations that you have. If you do not hire the right counselor, there can be a chance where this process can make the situation of the couple even worse. Thus, you should invest enough time in searching for the counselor that can help you out with your problem. Also, you will need to make sure that what you have is really helpful and not detrimental to your family.

About the Author: Worried about the possibility of a marriage counselor? Stop thinking that way! Award winning free course on how to stop divorce and save your marriage is available for a limited time at http://www.SaveYourMarriageQuick.com

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Pre Marriage Counseling – The Answer to a Long and Healthy Marriage!

14 June 2010

By Kelly Purden

There is no need to ask whether pre marriage counseling is for you or not. The answer is always YES. Pre marriage counseling is a psychological counseling given to couples before marriage. It is given to prepare them for and make them aware of possible marital issues that they may encounter in their marriage. This is quite important, as marriage experts say that pre marriage counseling helps reduce the possibility of divorce of up to thirty percent.

Counseling is usually given by a religious adviser and can range from two meetings to four meetings. The couple can choose what the content of the counseling will have as well as the amount of service to be given. It is also possible that the counseling be religion-neutral. No matter what the couple chooses, the counseling should include activities that allow them to adapt real skills, and give them real expectations and education about themselves and their partners so they can face the obstacles that they may encounter in their commitment as a married couple.

When looking for a good pre marriage counselor, it is important to research well on each prospect to get the best results. Make sure that the pre marriage counseling deals with your compatibility as a couple, your expectations, proper communication skills, your long-term goals, how to resolve conflicts, families, and intimacy and sexuality. It is also important to ask whether the counseling will handle a big or small group. Usually, a small group setting can be more engaging and more focused, but on the other hand, being part of a big group may yield advantages as well such as being more systematic and comprehensive. If working with a group, ask whether the approach is flexible enough to accommodate all the couples involved. Some skills are best developed on a one-couple counseling session.

Answering these questions will help you to resolve much better what kind of pre marriage counseling to consider as well as what pre marriage counselor to go to. Pre marriage counseling is very important to strengthen a couple’s relationship and constructively prepare both individuals, especially while they still have plenty of positive energy in their relationship. Couples nowadays face more pressure and maybe less support than before, which is why this counseling can be a big help. It is important to build a strong foundation before committing into this life-changing event. Without this strong foundation, it becomes easier to be overwhelmed by the pressure or the stress that may occur.

Living together is not enough to prove that you are ready for marriage. Do not be afraid of the issues that may be raised when you get into counseling. This will not make you love each other less, but instead help you both to work out these issues early on in the relationship with the help of an expert so to help you avoid encountering this kind of conflict when you are already a married couple.

About the Author: Want to eliminate your pre marriage counseling? Don’t worry – you can save and strengthen it now! Get free award winning advice on how to save your marriage at http://www.SaveYourMarriageQuick.com

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Marriage Trial Separations – 5 Tips For Saving Your Marriage

14 June 2010

By Jed Jones

When a marriage has reached its breaking point, sometimes a trial separation seems like the best option. The grief, the anger, the hurt: you may be asking yourself what relationship could possibly be worth this? However, if you both do still harbor love for one another in your hearts, it may be worth giving your love another chance.

Here are 5 tips for avoiding a trial separation or getting back together if you are in the midst of one now:

Tip #1: Feelings, not recriminations: When you are talking with your spouse, start every statement with, “When you do X, I feel Y. ” This immediately removes the element of blame from the situation and shifts it to what we humans are really about: our feelings and emotions.

Tip #2: Problems, not personalities: When you encounter with your spouse one of your hot button issues – those that make your tempers immediately go through the roof and your patience vanish – try to focus on the problems at hand rather than the specific shortcomings or flaws of the other person. By looking at a problem objectively as something to be examined and studied, you become able to separate how you feel about the other person from the things that are causing you both pain. Only then can you tackle your problem head-on.

Tip #3: Leave the kids out of it: If you have kids with your spouse, do everything in your power to keep them out of your problems with your spouse. Kids often become the victims when parents separate: an unfortunate casualty that can be avoided. Make sure that you explain to your kids that they are not the cause of your separation. And, never, ever give your kids messages to relay to your spouse if you are already separated: your communication with your spouse needs to happen directly between the two of you.

Tip #4: Take ownership of problems rather than placing blame: A problem amongst a fighting couple is like the border between two countries: it is always an integral part of both sides. That is, a problem is never his or her fault. You own your problems together. If your spouse has a serious problem like a drinking, gambling, or cheating, it instantly becomes your problem as well. You both have to find a healthy solution, together. Own your problems as a couple and you can overcome anything.

Tip #5: Agree to take a break from your problems: When couples are trying to avoid a separation by actively working through their problems, they often find themselves falling into the rut of always and only talking about those problems when they are together. The trouble is, by always making our problems the center of our attention, we are actually giving them even more power over our relationships than they deserve. To avoid this vicious cycle, pick certain times to consciously take a break from your problems when you are with your spouse. Go miniature golfing, see a movie, or take a walk, all the while promising that you will put your problems on the back burner for a while and just have some fun.

A marriage trial separation can be heartbreaking for everyone involved. Whether your separation seems to be leading toward divorce or toward reconciliation, you owe it to yourself and your spouse to give your relationship all you have. You just might be able to bring the love back.

About the Author: If you are trying to avoid or end a separation with your spouse and rekindle the love that once made your relationship so special, try some heartwarming advice that has worked for thousands of other married couples at: www.Earth-Matters.com

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Happier Marriage: Ten Tips For Creating The Marriage Of Your Dreams

14 June 2010

By Michelle Vasquez

Everyone wants a happier marriage yet few people know what to do to achieve it. So many times people look to their spouse to “complete” them instead of looking inside themselves to figure out how they can help their relationship thrive. Here are some ideas to get you started on the road to a happier marriage.

1. Overlook your spouse’s faults like you overlook your own. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit you have faults, just as everyone does. If you’re really honest with yourself, you will admit that you often overlook or dismiss your bad habits, while criticizing your spouse’s bad habits. Decide today to go easy on your spouse. Let go of the need to correct his faults and you may find him less critical of yours.

2. Decide what kind of day you want to have, and then create it. Yes, you can do this. A rainy day doesn’t make you have a “bad day.” You decide how to deal with things that are out of your control, like the weather, other people’s driving, your boss’s micromanaging, etc. You can choose misery or you can choose peace of mind.

It begins with what you tell yourself. For example: if it’s raining in the morning you can fret and tell yourself, “This is going to be a terrible day. I’ll get wet, people will drive like maniacs, and I’ll be late for work. This day is ruined.” Guess what? You’re right. Try this instead: “I am grateful for the rain. I’ll leave early for work and I’ll drive carefully. I can put on my favorite music and I’ll choose calm. This is a great day.” Your spouse will thank you when you decide what kind of day to have and her “bad mood” won’t bother you!

3. A kiss on the cheek at an unexpected time can create goodwill. If you have a habit of greeting your spouse with a friendly, “Where were you? Why didn’t you call? You said you were going to be here by 6:00,” take a deep breath and hold that thought. Try this instead: “I’m so glad to see you. How was your day?” then kiss him on the cheek and enjoy the rest of your evening together. Maybe your spouse will think you’ve gone crazy, but it will definitely be a change from the usual evening sparring match.

4. Always greet your spouse with a smile. Remember why you married her and let that warm feeling create your smile. Smiles are contagious; you’re likely to get one back when you practice this. When he calls you, answer the phone with a smile. You will feel differently when you smile and your spouse can hear your smile in your voice.

5. Add to this a bonus. Smiles and hugs go together like salt and pepper. We need human contact with the one we chose to marry. Hugs can melt away resentment and generate compassion. Virginia Satir, one of the key figures in the development of family therapy, declared that we need twelve hugs a day to maintain our mental health. How many hugs are you giving each other each day?

6. Always be the first to say, “I’m sorry,” even if you believe you were right (especially if you believe you are right). When you believe you are right and you’re willing to create distance between you and your spouse to hold onto your “rightness” you damage your relationship. Ask yourself if you want to win the argument or win the relationship. You can’t do both.

7. Make a daily habit of remembering what made you fall in love with him. If you only focus on your partner’s faults, you will quickly “fall out” of love. You can decide to focus on what you like and appreciate your spouse. This is not something to keep to yourself. Appreciate her and tell her. Daily. Appreciation has a wonderful benefit of coming back to you. People will do more for you when they realize you truly appreciate them and what they do.

8. Make blame an obsolete concept. It has no place in your marriage. Blame is so dangerous to the health of your marriage. Blame says you are a victim and your happiness is totally dependent on your spouse doing everything just the way you want it. Choose to take responsibility for what you can control: your own behavior. Before a blaming statement leaves your mouth, ask yourself what you can do to help your marriage.

9. Total honesty is not helpful. Discretion is better. Focusing on the good things you can say to each other is best. I think some people use the phrase “I’m just being honest” to say some pretty ugly things to each other. Sometimes people say they’re being honest, but they are really only expressing their opinion. Before you decide to say that “honest” thing to your spouse, think about how it will impact your relationship. Can you phrase it differently? Does it need to be said? Is it just your opinion? Think about it.

10. Ask yourself, “What can I do today that will bring me closer to the one I married?” Then do it. Keep it simple, using the examples above or creating your own. You have a creative mind and you can make this a daily habit. You will reap the benefits of a closer, happier marriage. Keep up these habits, building on them, and you can create the marriage of your dreams.

About the Author: Michelle E. Vasquez is a Relationship Coach and a Licensed Professional Counselor in San Antonio, TX. For more tips and tools to help you create relationships that bring you joy, visit http://www.michellevasquez.com and sign up for the free newsletter, Relationship Success, while you’re there.

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How To Find A Good Marriage Counselor And Save Your Marriage…

14 June 2010

By Sarah Williams

Have you ever stayed awake all nightlong thinking about whether your marriage will last or not?

Troubled marriage represents different kind of emotions. Hurt feelings are the most common but it can lead to depression, panic, paranoia, and anger. These emotions can be distracting to your goal of creating romantic love and finally bringing it all in ruins. For this part, it can take you to painful experiences you can never accept at all.

This kind of situation can make your mind go nuts thinking how can you possibly save it in due time. Marriage in trouble is very depressing thinking what went wrong. It makes you realize what is happening, although you are expecting that all is well despite some differences.

Likewise, in marriage you just knew that it’s not going to be a perfect one. You just do what you think is right but still some are not quite enough. But then you think it’s not a problem at all, because you expect in marriage that it’s a process of accepting, learning and most of all loving despite of weaknesses.

FINDING A GOOD MARRIAGE COUNSELOR

In dealing troubled marriage, you can approach marriage counselors although you better find a good one. A good marriage counselor helps couple to guide through emotional distresses, motivating the feelings and discussing some sort of tips to excite the couple. Counselors guide couples in understanding the enormous stress in facing one of their greatest crises to date. For instance, when one or both spouses become emotionally upset, a counselor must have the skill in treating emotional reactions effectively.

A good counselor must know how to calm down the couple and assuring them that it’s not a sign of hopeless incompatibility. Counselors sometimes obtain special training for many common marital problems, such as sexual differences in which this is one of the reasons why couples disintegrate- like having an affair. Also, financial conflicts can be a deciding factor in which one of the couple is not financially stable.

By finding your preferred marriage counselor, there are many ways of discovering them. You can ask from your friends but its better if some of them have been seen a counselor that has successfully guided them. Also, you can find counselors in your phone directory or yellow pages where some of their offices and contact numbers are stated.

Regardless of your source of referral, you should be certain in choosing someone who can really help you. Always remember that a counselor is who can help your relationship for you and your partner. If possible, it’s much better if your partner is an active participant in treatment sessions.

By calling counselors at their offices, you can call one clinic at a time. Ask their respective assistants to speak to the counselor you are considering by phone. When you are about to speak some questions after your introductions and purpose, you can ask these following questions:

? How many years have you been a counselor?

? What are your credentials (e.g. academic and master’s degree)?

? Do you help clients in overcoming and avoiding emotional letdowns?

? Do you help in motivating the clients to finish the program successfully?

? Do you suggest different approach in dealing solutions in any kind of marital situations?

? How much does it cost for every session or for the whole duration of the program?

You can add other relevant questions as long as the marriage counselor knows what type of marital problem you have. Finally, for choosing your preferred marriage counselor you should let him/her know that you come for help in restoring and saving love to your marriage. Because in marriage, it’s the most beautiful thing ever to happen in your life.

About the Author: You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit NOW for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.

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Is There Hope to Save a Marriage? Here Lies the Secret to Turning Your Marriage Around

13 June 2010

By Steve Gee

Do this one magical thing and there will be plenty of hope for saving your marriage

Has your spouse just told you that your marriage is over? Are you doing what most people do when this happens? If you are then stop right now and read the rest of this article. It could be the difference between splitting up and making up.

What you must not do if you hope to save your marriage and stop your divorce

Most people have a knee-jerk reaction to their spouse telling you that you’re finished as a couple. You tell them how much you love them and can’t live without them. You tell them that you would do anything to get them back. You will change your habits, buy gifts, spend less time at the office blah blah blah… Do you think that all this pleading is going to make any difference? Well it is – it’s going to make things a lot worse and push your partner even further away from you.

You have to fight to save your marriage but you need the right weapons

Whatever you do, stop pleading with your spouse right now. It isn’t going to help and you need to learn a different way of approaching your problem.

Getting your wife back isn’t going to be easy but it can be done and if you go in armed with the right weapons and the proper training in how to use them then you will be surprised just how effective they can be. There is hope to save a marriage in most cases – it’s just a matter of doing the right things in the right way.

This is the first thing you must do to get your Ex back

The first thing that you must do to save your marriage is accept that it’s over. I know that this doesn’t sound right but you’re not going to get anywhere until you realize that it’s what your partner wants right now and you need to give it to them. Think about getting your ex back as the start of a wonderful new relationship together not the end of one that’s failing.

Have a calm and rational discussion with your partner and tell mim or her that they are so right and that you have been thinking along the same lines for a long time. If you’ve already done the pleading bit and some time has passed then write them a letter to tell them that you now accept the situation and that you think it’s the right thing to do.

I know that this is the exact opposite of what your heart is telling you to do but this technique has far greater chance of working than pleading with your spouse hoping that they will change their mind. Let’s face it, pleading almost never works so what have you got to lose?

Now there is hope to save your marriage

Once you’ve accepted the situation and you both start to think about the rest of your life the pressure of the separation melts away and you’re free to start making up. Be careful not to undo the good work you’ve done so far though. You now have to go under the radar to start getting your ex to love you again without realizing what’s happening. If you go about it the right way – there is hope to save your marriage in abundance.

About the Author: Discover under-the-radar techniques that will make your ex love you again without even realizing what you’re doing – Find out how you can save a doomed marriage http://www.howdo-i.com/save-my-marriage/

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Online Marriage Counseling: A Positive Step Toward Saving Your Marriage

13 June 2010

By Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D.

A marriage vow is supposed to be an inviolate thing, a binding commitment between two people to spend the rest of their lives together. This includes through better or worse, richer or poorer and in sickness or good health; we all know the drill. Every married couple repeats the vows or variations on them and, at the time, the vast majority of these people mean what they recite and fully intend to honor those vows. The unwritten assumption is that there are always ups and downs in any marriage, but on the whole, the relationship is assumed to be strong enough to survive these bumps and should in fact become stronger for them.

Yet, it’s a fact of life that nearly half of all American marriages end in divorce. In Canada, it’s over a third of all marriages. In some European countries, divorce rates actually exceed fifty percent! For a society that generally considers marriage the pinnacle of adult relationships and the foundation for a family, these aren’t statistics to be proud of.

Traditional Marriage Counseling has not been particularly successful for many people and that shortcoming is reflected in the dismal marriage failure statistics. It’s not necessarily a lack of commitment on the part of the spouses who are trying to work their way through a difficult time; in fact, traditional marriage counseling can become a multi-year exercise that requires a significant investment in time, money and emotion. People are enduring this in the hope of piecing their marriages back together. Still, that extraordinarily high divorce rate remains.

Many marriage counselors end up creating a dependency, where couples are afraid to make any move without first consulting their therapist. Spouses tend to be of different temperaments and therapy sessions can be overwhelming for one of the partners, creating or amplifying an existing emotional imbalance in the relationship. Sessions tend to focus on the problems, the negatives in the relationship, and that frequently means singling out one partner for their transgressions. There can be a great deal of emotional energy created in a traditional therapy session, but all too often it’s negative energy: resentment or anger. How can that negativity help the couple struggling to save their marriage?

If you are in a troubled marriage, instead of automatically turning to the phone book and stepping onto the therapy treadmill, perhaps you should Save Marriage Counseling as a last resort; at least traditional marriage counseling.

What is it that makes a married man or woman take the risk of engaging in an extramarital affair? While many people assume it’s simply boredom, money or outright sexual attraction, often the root cause can be traced back to the fact that everyone likes to feel special. Consciously or subconsciously, people get married in the first place in large part because they feel special when they’re with their partner. When that partner no longer makes them feel special, they begin to seek a bond with others in an attempt to recapture that “special” feeling.

There are Online Marriage Counseling services available that avoid the pitfalls of traditional marriage counseling. Instead of sitting in an office, re-opening old wounds as you are prompted to go though the litany of ways you and your spouse have hurt each other, the alternative is to listen to an expert as they walk through real-life examples and focus on the positive experiences of marriage. It’s all done in the privacy of your own home (or car, or wherever you choose to listen to the CDs), on your timetable and benefits can be realized even if only one of the spouses chooses to take part. Instead of digging through the relationship’s dirt, the emphasis is on learning how to fulfill each other’s needs so that each partner once again feels special. This is a positive approach that can give a marriage a much-needed fresh start. The approach has been proven successful and leading practitioners have been featured in the media, including appearances on Oprah, The View and The Today Show, not to mention leading publications including USA Today, The New York Times and Cosmopolitan.

In the end the choice is up to you: months or years of ongoing, intensive and emotionally-charged therapy, or a short, positive re-enforcement of why you chose to get married in the first place.

About the Author: This article was written by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D. for LightYourFire.com, who has shown thousands of couples that you don’t need marriage counseling to bring back the feelings you had when you first fell in love. Article reproductions must include a link pointing to http://www.lightyourfire.com/

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Harmonious Relationship With Marriage And Family Counselling – You Can Do It!

13 June 2010

By Sarah Williams

With many marriages that end up with divorce, there is a great need for troubled couples to undergo marriage counselling even prior to the plan of holding the wedding.

Study shows that in some way, the counselling experience takes a vital part in the relationship of the couples as well as in raising their own family.

Counseling services is rendered to people who want to seek for advices about the major concerns and even problems that they will probably encounter in the duration of their marriage.

There are times that actual counselling is better than just reading counselling books because you can get to talk with the counsellors personally. They can also provide you with practical pointers on handling situations with your partner.

Sad to say, majority of the couples wait for quite long time before they undergo basic marriage counselling. Most of them seek for the help of the counsellors only if they are on the actual problem already. Supposedly, marriage counseling should be done before the marriage.

Counseling can save marriages and provide the couples enough space to explore themselves and the possible conflicts that they will encounter. It can also end up in arriving at a new understanding that will lead to a harmonious relationship.

Rearing of children has also become a part of marriage counselling. Since the very essence of getting married is to propagate. Thus, all the factors that deal on the family is already included in marriage counselling.

In finding for the best marriage and family counsellors, you can follow the following pointers.

? Establish the issues within yourselves first why you are seeking for the help of the marriage counsellors.

This is very important for you to communicate with your therapist or counsellor properly. It is not good that when you are in front of them, that is the only time that you think of the things that you are about to consult the counsellor.

As much as possible, the counselor should be familiar about the issue you are about to raise beforehand.

? Choose a marriage counsellor whom you are most comfortable to work with, whether a male or a female counsellor.

This will help you to narrate and share everything that you need to say with your guidance counsellor.

? Find for counsellors that have academic degree.

The credentials that they possess differ. This will also aid you in determining the credibility of your marriage counsellor.

Usually, those with the highest degree are also the most dependable ones because they already pass through several learning about their course.

? Referral from your relatives and friends can also help.

In fact, they are the most probable resources that you can ask regarding the best marriage and family counsellors because more or less, they have experience working with them.

? You can research in the web.

Some counselors post information about themselves. You can do the research about them and make an evaluation whether they pass your own set of criteria.

Make the relationship of your future family a harmonious one. This will not only deal about you or your partner but also the rearing of your child. With counselling, you can make a right choice!

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Should You Keep Tolerating A Bad Marriage For The Sake Of The Family?

13 June 2010

By James Wallis

The culpability that would accompany such discussions could be disturbing. Although a lot of people and experts might disagree, it is not good to stay in an unstable relationship for the sake of children because a parent’s unhappiness could have adverse effects on children’s well being, much more than divorce could cause.

Hiding the Truth Will Not Help

Children love to see their parents happy as much as parents want their children to be. They might feel that they’re solely responsible for their parent’s happiness. No matter to what extent you might try to hide the issue from them, they would find it out one day or the other. The realisation that they have been the cause for your sacrifice could bring about more harm than just emotional turmoil to them. “We stayed for your well being” would be of no favour.

Experts who’ve dealt with plenty of mature children found the following to be true:

Children of divorced parents who found happiness in their life after their separation, either being single or by entering a new relationship, are said to have grown up happily. Such children seemed to have positive outlook towards life. The reason is simple. They had taken their parents as role model, who have great amount of affection for them and strength to make their own life blissful.

On the contrary, children of parents who stayed in an unhappy married life are the one’s who seem to lack confidence in themselves. Such children grow up to be adults who have a negative notion about love. They either find complexity in expressing their emotions to their beloved or they consider themselves unworthy of love. This might be so because they have grown up watching people who failed in leading a content and joyous life.

Children Would Understand As They Grow Up:

It is almost impossible to find a grown up kid who would want his/her parents to stay in an unhealthy relationship for the excuse of giving him/her a glorious future. No child would like to see its parents staying in a passionless, despondent relationship. All that would result from this is a faked reality that no child would want to go through once they reach the level to analyse and understand such issues.

It is beyond the scope of understanding for children to treat their parents’ divorce in a normal way but once the children enter adulthood and encounter problems regarding relationships, they would look at your problems under a new light. They would realise the amount of pain you experienced being in an unhappy relationship.

When a group of grown up children was asked on how many of them thought it would have been better if their parents had divorced, half of them responded that they preferred their parents were divorced. After separation of parents the emotional scar might take a long time to heal. But they would realise the truth once they begin to face the outer world.

As a parent, your duty is to decide on what is best for your children. Your child might disagree with your decision of separation but think about all those times when your child wanted to do something dangerous and you were firm in your decision to evade your child from doing it. This same attitude should be exhibited while deciding the future of your relationship. Your children might cry and be depressed for sometime but eventually as they grow up, they would start to look at you as people and not only as their parent. They would realise that you did not arrive upon the decision for your selfish motives alone.

It is important to assure them that your separation in no way would take away the love you and your spouse always had for your children. If this is done perfectly, your child would have no difficulty in coping with the new life.

You owe it to your kids to do the best to save your marriage. But if you arrive at a threshold point after which the relationship would not work, then you owe them a separated life from your spouse. They would surely look up to you with pride for what you did someday in the future.

About the Author: James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

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